Why Am I Here?

This is not as deep as you think it is

Been asking myself that a lot these past few weeks, especially as I’m trying to pivot my brand and my brain keeps going WTF DID YOU JUST DO?!

But yea so…why am I here? What is my purpose for showing up on the internet?? Is it to educate and entertain? Yes. Is it to instill confidence in those who don’t typically have it? Also yes. And if I want to share a recipe or two, is that allowed? Yes. I think. I don’t know anymore. I have been second guessing a lot more than I usually do.

Is it partially because Instagram gives me that feeling in my stomach lately? Not the butterflies, not the good kind. I’m talking about the kind that you get right before you get diarrhea. Yeah…that feeling.

I’m hardly the first influencer/content creator to voice their opinions about this, but I am one of the ones who DOES something about it, too. It’s my job to basically live on Instagram, and at some point, you have to ask yourself if it’s worth the stress. I’ve decided it’s not.

I started the Musings of a Misfit Creative Substack (and the whole Misfit Creatives thing in general) because I’ve been looking for a place to take my “community” off of IG (at least a little bit). I have my own newsletter already, but I think I will be moving that over here, offering a free plan as well as a paid option. Still figuring out what that looks like, so stay tuned (but it will be in the neighborhood of $4 - $5/month).

I wanted this Substack to be the place where I can speak to you guys freely, about all the things I want to discuss, not just the ones that Instagram allows me to. If you’re not a creator, I envy you. You aren’t forced to be put in a box and bitchslapped back to AOL 2.0 when you step outside of it.

I like posting different things and I like being a bit of a surprise to people. But I absolutely hate that I get punished for it now. Or it just feels that way. I know I’m not alone in that.

I was on TikTok recently (another place you will see more content from me, my handle is @darapollak) and I saw a girl/influencer who’s sole purpose with content creation is talking about her hair type and how to deal with it. That’s it.

Every.

Fucking.

Post.

Is about.

Her hair.

I sat there, slack-jawed, reading/watching each post while shaking my head slowly back and forth. I even covered my mouth at one point with my hand.

If you saw me from afar, you would think I was reading a story about a 9-year-old who got tragically killed by a wild turkey.

That said, I’m being completely serious when I say that I was equally horrified by this. I’m not judging, mind you. If anything, I’m actually JEALOUS of what it must be like to have such high levels of not just focus, but creative intent.

I can barely come up with one Reel/TikTok idea to create per week, and this bitch is pumping out hair tutorials like the US is pumping out vaccines.

If you can’t make a Covid joke, are you even relevant to the zeitgeist?

But I digress. The amount of dedication and passion one must have to stay within such tight boundaries makes me feel squirmy inside. It’s like someone sat me down and told me to watch And Just Like That all over again. Like I can do it, but fuck, I really don’t want to put myself through that again.

Sometimes I feel like my niche is just not having one. I refuse to be defined by one thing, and I am trying to find platforms that support this belief. Lately I don’t feel like Instagram is that platform.

I just want to take MY people off of IG a little and give them something I know they want: the real talk.

Until next time...

-Dara