You Don't HAVE TO Share Everything on Social Media

I did a little experiment this week. Not on purpose at all, but it just sort of happened. And I thought it was something worth sharing, ironically?

My mom was in the hospital for surgery on Wednesday - scheduled surgery, but it was a fairly risky procedure - and it went well but she was having some bad reactions to the anesthesia and the side effects of the procedure in general. Nausea, couldn’t keep food down for a while, and headaches. I’d share more details about the surgery but it’s not really important right now, just know that it was a neuro procedure, which is always scary. And the bottom line is she’s doing better and finally got to go home last night.

Anyway, when she was going in for the surgery, I was tempted to share it on IG stories, as I tend to do with basically everything, but I just didn’t. I didn’t think about it. Or if I did, it was fleeting and I just said “eh maybe later,” and kept repeating that phrase until later became today.

Don’t get me wrong, I love sharing bits and pieces of my life with you guys, but not only are some things more private than others, but sometimes the DM’s are overwhelming. I knew if I shared it, I’d get a ton of well wishes and “prayers” for my mom, and I was already scared enough as is. I didn’t want any more reminders that my mom needed prayers, ya know? She’s like, one of the very few people in my life who loves me no matter how much of an asshole I am. It’s something I realize more and more as I get older: those people are hard to find, and not everyone has a good mother. I don’t have a ton of good fortune in my life, but I definitely got lucky in the mom department. Kinda don’t know what I’d do without her.

FINE I TOOK ONE PICTURE OK <3

And on the other side of the coin, I also didn’t want to feel bad if I missed a message/didn’t reply to someone. I get a lot of DM’s sometimes and I miss them even when I’m operating with a full tank, and let’s just say my tank was not nearly full on Wednesday.

I pulled my neck the day before her surgery, so not only was I dealing with my own physical manifestations of stress (still laying on a heating pad as I write this), but I barely slept because of it, too. On top of that, I didn’t want to be worried about replying to all these people, most of whom are likely to not think about it again. And I don’t mean that in a bad way either, I’m just saying it’s a reality of social media. How many times have you replied to a story today? Or how about this week? Do you remember all of them? Highly doubt it. Even if it’s important, I feel like my mind goes in and out.

I also just wanted to see what it felt like to disconnect from reality a little bit. There was a time when social media was a fun place to “take a break,” so when I logged on, it was nice to open up my DM’s and see the normal stuff. GIFs. Memes about cats. The usual. Once I knew she was going to be ok, I felt like it was ok to laugh.

I‘ve gone through over 20 surgeries in my day and I don’t even blink thinking about another one. But when someone you love goes under the knife, being on the other side of it can be really scary. Even though I live my life pretty publicly, I just needed the space to process on my own. Consider this your permission to do the same. Not everything needs to be an announcement.

Mom update: she’s doing much better now that her headaches have subsided! Here’s hoping that trend continues as she recovers over the next couple of weeks.

That’s all for now. Hope everyone has a good MDW!